Tuesday, March 29, 2011

"The Double U"

I am about to talk about my chest. I will not be graphic or inappropriate, but I offer this as a warning: If you are feeling uncomfortable, find something more productive to read because this post is about breasts.

First of all, let me just say that I have never really been overly conscious about my body around my children. There is no nudity in my home, mind you; we are meticulous in our efforts to remain modest at all times, especially when there are littles around. But I understand more every day that my children are ever observant and aware, even when I am not.

As previously established, Lincoln LOVES to draw portraits of me. Every new day brings several new renderings.  His drawings have always been a little abstract, but he is diligent, always bettering his skill through practice, and continues to improve. This last weekend during our weekly family pizza and movie night, he was drawing away when, satisfied with his end product, he presented his offering to me.

The first thing I noticed was the heart; Lincoln's first identifiable heart, I think. That's a very good heart. And then after a very brief appreciation of his improving aptitude in drawing dresses, I got distracted by another part of the picture...


The nervous laughter snuck up on me; I broke into a fit of giggles and passed the drawing to Greg who asked with a sparkle in his eye "what is this right here, bud?" Link gave me a shy glance via his peripheral gaze, and then, as discretely as can be expected from a 4-year-old, bolted over to point at my chest and then sprinted back to bury his face in Greg's shoulder. We were hysterical. There were tears in my eyes. Lincoln was confused. And proud, I think. And confused.

After the boys went to bed, Greg and Dale and Elaine and I would break out in spontaneous laughter. The newest anatomical code word in our house is "The Double U."  Admittedly, I was absolutely unprepared for this. I thought I had at least a couple more years before female anatomy discussions demanded such attention in my home. And I must say that I am much more conscious these days of my chest in relation to my boys' heights and hugs.

But let's bring it back home, folks. While it looks like I may have stopped in to visit my local witch doctor, you have to admit, those are some seriously fabulous heels.

7 comments:

Jody said...

Seriously hilarious! I'll never think of a "w" the same again. ;)

MOM/Phyllis said...

Great drawing. Lincoln is beyond his years in artistic observation. I am equally as interested in the ?mouse ears?

MOM/Phyllis said...

The neck/head shows a little attitude, too, don't you think? Like, um, Jennifer Lopez?

Ashley said...

I can hardly stop laughing long enough to type this!! You've got to keep a close eye on those 2nd borns. We still have yet to talk about the female anatomy in our house as well Thanks for the idea!!

Sarah Heder said...

Emery, this was a great story! I was laughing out loud. I am so glad you wrote it down. This is hilarous! More "Double U" stories please! Keep 'em coming!

Sadie Rose said...

Thank you for the laugh out loud, Emery! So funny because just this morning I was, for some reason, flashing back to us at 14 in the dressing room at Pacific Sunwear, trying on shirts and discussing our breasts.

Tina said...

Love it!